Monday, January 11, 2010


Papa Bear explains the events at Artful Dodger's Trial.

Dinner dishes finished. Mama Bear and Goldilocks gathered around Papa Bear.  Baby Bear was already asleep in Papa Bear's lap.
"Tell us everything that happened at the trial" Goldilocks waited while Papa Bear gathered his voice.
"OK First of all it was a Bench trial and Artful Dodger threw himself at the mercy of the Court. That means he confessed everything to the judge.
Art explained that one day he was walking down the street and he saw an abandoned briefcase next to the curb on Wall street.  He picked it up and looked inside to see if the owner had left some identification and then he would find the owner and maybe get a reward for his efforts.  He said that inside he found a smelly tuna fish sandwich, about $500 and a stack of papers, but nothing that would identify the owner.  He said he found a Deli, ordered his lunch, and started reading all of the papers.  After reading a while he figured the briefcase owner was running a pretty good racket. The guy was selling certificates for oil futures, promising he would double their money in weeks and then keeping the money in his own pocket.  
Art decided that it was a pretty good scheme. He bought himself a suit and tie and couldn't believe that people just fell for the whole scheme hook line and sinker. He could fill up his new briefcase with cash several times a day.
However once in a while his old customers would catch up with him and he would have to cash in their certificates.  For a while he didn't mind but then September 15, 2008 happened. Remember Goldilocks that was the day he tried to steal your hair and I had to give him a good swift punch.  He was desperate. 
Artful Dodger told the judge about that too. The Judge gave me a high five and winked.
He said he went underground until he saw the Bear family leaving town.  He said he shaved his head, bought a new three piece suit, and a new briefcase.  He made up a new sales pitch and hit Wall Street with an even better Ponzi scheme.  
Then he said, Papa Bear imitated Art's tenor voice, "You know Judge, some of those guys will fall for anything.  I was selling them shorts on real estate, gold certificates, long certificates on oil.  If I had actually bought the stuff I was selling I could have made some money too.  However I didn't I just kept the cash, but I did buy silver and gold coins. " 
The judge search through a huge stack of papers and finally asked Art where he hid the coins.
Papa Bear imitated Art's voice again, "I'm not telling you, or the police, or the FBI, or the SEC.  When you lock me up the secret will be my passport in prison. "  
Papa Bear leaned over toward Mama Bear and continued. "The judge seemed to understand exactly what Artful Dodger was saying.  He asked Art's attorney for help. Papa Bear changed his voice to a growl,  "Can you talk him out of his silence and retrieve the coins so we can pay back Art's investors ?" 
The attorney shook his head very sadly saying  'NO'
The Judge slammed down his gavel and pronounced the sentence, Papa Bear returned to his growling voice, "Twenty years in Minnesota and if you tell your attorney where the coins are stashed then I'll reduce your sentence."
Art told everyone thank you even the judge.  Then the policeman took him away.
The judge and Art's attorney talked to me for a few minutes and asked if I could do anything to find the coins and I told them I had been out of town during the time period they were talking about. " 
"Papa Bear," Goldilocks explained. " You know he will escape. No jail has ever held him."
Mama Bear nodded her head.  "Wonder where he hid the coins?" Then she picked up Baby Bear and everyone said "Goodnight"
Goldilocks stood there for a minute punching into her I phone search 'Federal Prison Minnesota' results: Near Mayo Clinic elderly and infirm prisoners most are Mafia Dons.
She said to herself "They plan for him to escape."

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